With chiropractic board exams, finals, graduation, coming to terms with student loans, figuring out what I’m going to do with the rest of my life…I just want to shut down.
I’m feeling depressed, the weather’s getting to me–don’t get me wrong, I love the rain, but the clouds and the no sun and the staying inside all day in my PJs watching TV all cozy with the heater on isn’t helping.
I’m feeling depressed, I’ve put on weight since starting clinic. I swore I wouldn’t let this part of my life fall by the wayside again, but it has, to an extent. Because my work is so physical, I do have a bit of a more fit physique than I used to, but I still miss that feeling of sliding into that dress you didn’t think you could fit into, or busting out that bikini and feeling fine. Not even great, just fine. That’s all I want.
So. I know I’ve said this in the past and to avoid the cliche (and jinx) of a New Year’s Resolution I’m saying it again, now. I’ve got to do something about this. Make some changes. You can probably tell, this isn’t my first rodeo when it comes to the weight game. Fortunately, since making the first big loss—I’ve never gotten back up to that point, but I sure am coming close.
I’m done with clinic, I’ve got time to spend on myself. I still don’t have money to pay for the best foods– we’ll see how that goes, but i can always make myself sweat. I loved going to the gym all the time, having a retreat, making it part of my routine. I want to go back there.
I can get adequate sleep, have time to exercise, and reduce those cortisol levels which have not been helping this weight-loss fuge.
There’s no more gym. Well, actually, I lie. There’s a small gym at school that opened up a few weeks ago, but I quit the legitimate gym. It feels like a waste to go all the way to school—cross the bridge ($-$5$-$), etc just to walk on an eliptical machine. For some reason it’s just very different to walk on that than to walk outside.
Anyways, baby steps-I suppose. I’m taking some books to the school library to donate, holiday/graduation gift to my advisor’s office, and to work out in the gym at least for today.
